The blood spills over and beneath my skin as I long for the sharpness of reality. Too much noise inside my head too many thoughts drowning me. Can’t tell just what is quite real and what is all in my head. This overwhelming need to feel something definite and real claws at my skin making it itch. So I watch as my skin turns red.
Anxiety is not rude. Depression is not selfish. Schizophrenia is not wrong. Eating disorders are not a choice. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is not crazy. Mental illness isn’t self-centred, anymore than cancer is self-centred. It’s a medical illness.
Emptiness is something I often long for; and yet when I have it, I wish for it to go away.
Today I feel empty. I also feel like sobbing which is something I refuse to do with out no one around me which living in a dorm is impossible. I started back on my meds and I really hope they work because I feel like I am drowning right now.
Alright this blog is going to be my ranting blog for things I don’t feel comfortable saying anywhere else.